The Old Maternity Dress

You are ugly; you are wide;
You hike in the front and you sag on the side.
Though full of buttons, hooks and eyes;
You don’t “fool a soul” as to my size.
Shapeless, you are, as a bag of wool.
You look sad empty, or entirely full.
I hate the sight of you each day;
My uniform of tell-tale gray.
When I’ve a figure to restore,
I’ll never don you anymore!
So hang in the closet! If I give you away,
I fear that I’ll need you some other day.